BSAC Diver Buys New Equipment!

Posted: September 15, 2013 in BCDs, Diving Equipment, Media, Scuba Diving, Travel
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Bob Cobblenob yesterday “I don’t know what came over me”.

In breaking diving news today it was announced that BSAC diver Bob Cobblenob, 48, from Tyneside, put his hand in his pocket and bought a NEW BCD and Drysuit without having a gun to his head.

Stunned onlookers at Scuba Shack Dive Emporium, just north of Sunderland, were there to speak with The Scuba Monkey’s reporters at the scene.

Jane Serkis, 46, an Instructor of several years said “I spat my mouthful of tea over the masks and snorkels display when I saw the transaction take place. It was just such a terrible shock to the system.” Shaking her head in disbelief and swallowing a beta-blocker, she added “Not only was it a new BCD, it wasn’t a Buddy BCD – it was a Scubapro or Mares. It was a modern design and everything. I couldn’t believe my eyes!”

Kim Stevenson, 42, also an experienced Instructor added “I thought I was f*cking dreaming. He bought a BCD. A modern black one with integrated weights, D rings, and a sleek, body-hugging design. Then he went on to buy a proper Drysuit. I’ve never seen anything like it from a BSAC diver.” Still shaking with shock as he tried to light a cigarette, Kim said “Usually they buy a 15 year old second-hand Drysuit off ebay that looks like a bin bag and then wonder why they have to spend £300 getting it in working order – so this was totally out of character. He’ll probably be barred from his local club for not having an old membrane suit with so many blobs of Black Witch holding it together that it looks like someone’s been using him for target practice with a paintball gun.”

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“It’s cheaper to buy one fin off ebay. Yes, you swim around in circles, but on the plus side you do save nearly £40”

Shop owner Joe was still being administered oxygen and was in the recovery position as we spoke to him. Lifting his head he said “It was a crazy day. Crazy. He didn’t even moan or haggle for discount for 3 hours – or try to tell me what was wrong with the diving industry as he saw it. My world has turned upside down. They’ll be servicing their regs next!” he joked, before sliding into unconsciousness.

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