BSAC Diver Considers New Regulators Shocker!

Posted: October 18, 2013 in BCDs, Diving Equipment, Scuba Diving, Sport
Tags: , , , , ,
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Bob Cobblenob yesterday shortly after being released from A&E “Nah, I’ll just have the leak fixed. There’s nothing wrong with ’em”

In breaking diving news today it was announced that BSAC diver Bob Cobblenob, 48, from Tyneside, considered buying some new regulators or ‘DVs’ (as he prefers to call them).

The announcement was made by local BSAC Dive Officer Simon Tightwad, 53, earlier today in an emergency ‘shout’ put out by the local club. The remaining club members came inside from where they were tinkering with the club RIB and stroking each others’ beards.

Simon explained “Bob came into the club house looking a bit faint”. “When I spoke to him he said he was considering updating his 36 year old set of Apeks regulators as they’d become so worn and difficult to breathe from that he was nearly passing out and that when trying to inhale. Also, all the hoses had more holes than a second-hand dart board and were leaking like a garden sprinkler. He said he had his eye on some new Scubapro MK25s with S600 second stage from the local dive centre as they breathe nicely – and was pointing to a diving magazine.”

Simon, clearly still shocked by the incident, said “Luckily, I managed to sit Bob down and talk some sense into him before he did anything crazy…like get his wallet out.”

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“Bob was being irrational” said Simon. “He said it was ‘time to change them‘ and argued that if he’d bought a new car 23 years ago it would be regularly changed as technology and safety features advance – not to mention normal wear and tear and deterioration. I soon put him straight on that!! No BSAC diver has EVER bought a full price set of new regulators. It’s unheard of. Possibly, a second hand set from Ebay. Maybe a last minute end-of-line bargain at a dive show. But only then after bending the sales person’s ear for 2 hours about his last dive trip to Swannage. To walk into a retailer and buy some brand new regulators off the shelf with no fuss or argument? crazy talk.”

After reports of the incident became known to the club at large Dive Officer Simon had Bob sedated and taken to A&E for further observation.

“Soon Bob will be back to his old self” said Simon, “refusing to have his regs serviced annually, moaning about the price of new diving equipment, poo-pooing new technological developments and pining for the days of diving in ABLJs.”

We’ll keep you updated with further reports of Bob’s progress and recovery.

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