Hamilton: “I beat you….urrgghhhh….you’re a spaz!!!” Vettel: “Ok, you win. Now stop pulling that face”
In breaking news today it was revealed that Lewis Hamilton thrashed Sebastian Vettel. Not in an F1 car. In the ‘Silliest Looking F1 Driver Championship’.
3 times Drivers Champion Vettel put in a sterling effort this season; repeatedly pointing his finger and even, to the shock of his many fans, having his hair highlighted like a commercial radio DJ or 3rd division footballer. But even that was not enough to stop Hamilton romping home to take the win and retain his crown. This was the first time the UK has had a back-to-back champion since the days of Nigel Mansell’s memorable moustache/eyebrows combo of the late ’80s and early ’90s
Clinching the points battle was Hamilton’s chin-strap tidy beard that looks like a snail has crawled from one side of his face to the other underneath his jaw, combed forward lego hair to cover his receding hairline, matching sparkly earrings and oversized skater-boy cap.
Team-mate Nico Rosberg said “Yes, I may have also won races this year, but when it comes to dressing like a complete tool I can’t compete. Lewis is a genius.”
Former team-mate Jenson Button said “Lewis is nudging 30 years old and still dressing like a 14 year old skater kid. And he makes looking silly seem so easy. I’ve tried everything – even growing a little fluffy beard – I just can’t get near him.”
Lewis confessed that taking fashion tips from ex-girfriend Nicole Scherzinger had helped him in his efforts to look like a complete dick-bag who’d drive a modded 1989 Honda Civic with an exhaust pipe so big you could fit your head up it.
Will Perkins, 21, who works in Halfords Parts Department and drives a slammed Nissan 200SX said “He looks awesome”.
The Scuba Monkey 